Friday, October 21, 2011

WHAT WILLIE STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => "What Comes First?" via Ms. Nikks

Do you think your spouse should come before your children or your children should come before your spouse? Do you think they can share the spot and everyone can come out on top?

The above question was posed, along with the list a Christian (or church) marriage counselor gave as a list of people who hold importance in your life:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Kids
4. Everything else...

Well, you know Willie Stylez had to answer the question!

Another blogger, TheDLife, stated a GREAT case for why they would put GOD and then THEMSELVES first! I loved TheDLife's response very much, so I would have to say my list goes as follows:

1. GOD
2. ME
3. Wife
4. Kids
5. Ext Family/Close Friends
6. Everything Else

I commented that why I chose #2 to be me is:

"The fact that we forget ourselves in the equation is POWERFUL! I have told people, time and again, that they must be happy and fulfilled by themselves before they can make someone else happy in a relationship with them!" I have to be right with myself, and have improved (and continue to improve) myself before I can be of any worth to my wife, kids, etc.

I put my wife above my kids only because, in front of GOD, I declared an everlasting love and commitment to my wife! I also declared, by default and following HIS guidance, that I would:

"Train up a child in the way he should GO; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

And then

"a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"

So because I am ONE FLESH with my wife, and I feel that my children will learn from my teaching and go out and become one flesh with their own spouses, then I have done my job for them! I am not saying I will stop loving and assisting them, but I have to let them go and let them lead their own lives!

We get so caught up in that VERY SHORT 18-years we have a child with us, that we forget the LIFETIME we're supposed to spend with our spouse. It's true, marriage is not guaranteed (especially in these horrible times) BUT if you truly work at making the marriage and family successful, then it can be! It's sad that many marriages end because of that "stranger-danger" (the problem of spouses becoming "strangers" because they spend so much time taking care of kids/career/etc and forget to take care & continue to know their spouse)! But it's avoidable if you put the work into sharing the family workload, as well as share in the work of being ONE FLESH!

My wife and I make it a point to talk about our day, our lives, our fears/goals/dreams, we go out on dates (together, of course, LOL) and take a (no kids) vacation each year, among other things. That way we can connect and re-connect on a regular basis. All the while, as we raise our family!

That's what Stylez thinks! What do you think?

Posted via email from Ask Willie Stylez - The Posts