Tuesday, September 6, 2011

WHAT STYLEZ THINKS ABOUT => Taking the Name! Should a woman change her name when she marries?

So What Does STYLEZ Think?

I was reading a post from my blog sister, Sunny Delyte, and she posed the two questions:

Fellaz, how would you feel if you soon-to-be wife didn’t want to take your name or hyphenate her name?
Ladies, would you take your soon-to-be husband’s last name? If not, why?

Before I was married I felt that I wanted my wife to take my last name. Like you, I was thinking of tradition. I think also that because of religious teachings, the woman and man become one, and essentially the man is the head of the household, so the household get's his name. But now that I'm in the "real world" (LOL!), I realize there's other ways to do it.

What is really in a name? And that is the question that goes to how the decision should be made. In some cases, a woman may have a career or reputation built around her name. Should she have to sacrifice that because of marriage. True, she could change the name legally, but maintain the former name in common usage. But how do you draw that line. Or as the previous commentor mentioned, what if the name is sentimental. Or worse yet, what if the husband's name is god-awful! LOL! I had a classmate that got married and she was undecided because her husband had a very long polish name that started with Z! So can you really blame her!?

In my marriage, my wife uses my name in common usage, however, her legal name is still her maiden name. It's satisfactory to me (although, I do tease her sometimes that she's using a fake name, but believe me, its all in fun), and it allows her to continue to honor her own father. I think, in the "real world", you have to be sensitive to the wants and needs of your partner. If you, as a woman, are adamant about keeping your last name, I say keep it. Because, when it all comes down to it, your legal name should not affect your love for each other.

That is what Stylez thinks! What do you think? Please comment, or go over to Sunny's Spoken Words & Thoughts to see what they're saying!

Posted via email from Ask Willie Stylez - The Posts